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  “We can’t do anything?” I asked, feeling the strain on my face and in my body.

  “That’s what happens in the wild, Jada. What the fuck are you doing all the way out here, anyway?” His voice echoed so loudly in the cab that I had to duck a little to bear it.

  “I know I fucked up, Spencer. And what are you doing here? How did you find me?”

  He leaned back and pressed his lips together as if not prepared to answer my question. “Why do you keep doing what I ask you not to do?”

  The cat had my tongue. There was no way I could tell him I was searching for secrets I thought he might be keeping. “I just wanted to go exploring, that’s all.”

  “You can’t go exploring on this property, especially without a guide!” There was no doubt he was angry as he shoved both hands toward the windshield. “And now do you see why? I don’t have a fence around the borders.”

  I wondered why not, but I sure wasn’t going to ask while we were in this emotional state. Plus, I was still shaken up after witnessing the cold viciousness of nature. Spencer seemed way too unfazed by it. The mother moose was still looking into the dense woods. She watched us as Spencer made the perfect three-point turn. I wanted to turn around and see what she’d do next, but I felt a heavy sense of guilt for disobeying Spencer’s rules.

  “I apologize,” I finally said, keeping my eyes on the snow being pushed aside by the windshield wipers.

  He didn’t say anything, so I turned to look at him. Spencer appeared confused by my apology as he kept shifting his attention between the road and me.

  “I only want you to be safe,” he finally said.

  I kept my focus out the window and away from him. I’d already apologized to him, so there was nothing else to say. I only had questions I knew he wouldn’t answer, like how in the hell he’d known I was in a pinch. The snow was sprinting to the earth, but I tried to see if I could find a tiny red light attached to the branches. There had to be a surveillance system somewhere out there. Then I was struck by a realization—it was the golf cart. It must have had a tracking device on it.

  “I also apologize,” he said.

  I frowned, confused. “Apologize for what?”

  “My tone. I’ve been working on softening it for a while. Mostly I fail, but sometimes I don’t.”

  I cocked my head. “Hmm… no. You’ve only failed.”

  Spencer snorted. “As I said, I’m working on it. But what happened to you today is a rarity. If you want to go horseback riding or see more of the property, just ask.”

  “Ask who?” I replied bitingly. “Because you’re never around, and I…” I slumped in my seat, feeling deflated. “I just wish you’d start telling me the truth. Because then I’d know you care.”

  It felt as if time had stopped. I was proud of myself for being emotionally honest with Spencer. We had a lot to discuss if he wanted us to keep having sex. Now that I’d had sexual intercourse a few times, I realized I wasn’t one of those people who could fuck simply for enjoyment. I wasn’t built that way. I loved the connection part of sex, not merely his dick being inside me and my pussy bursting with orgasms. I wanted it all—his heart and the pleasure.

  Spencer stopped the truck in front of the steps and turned to me. His features were smooth, expressionless. We stared at each other for a long time.

  “I want you to go to your room,” he whispered slowly.

  My mouth was caught open, and I couldn’t think of a response as I watched him hop out of the truck as if the distance to the ground was no problem and trot around the front. As soon as he opened my door, the stepladder folded down. Spencer didn’t look at me once as he turned his back on me and went into the house.

  Chapter Eighteen

  When I made it to my room, I stripped out of my damp pants. The crotch of my panties was wet too. “Shit,” I cursed under my breath.

  That was not a good sign. My desire was at odds with my mind. I didn’t want Spencer Christmas to excite me merely by being in my presence.

  I took off my shirt and shuffled to the closet to drop them in the laundry basket, determined to learn how to contain myself around him in the future. Before I could reach my desired space, two strong arms wrapped me up from behind. I gasped when a large, hard bulge drove into the crease of my ass.

  “I’ve missed you,” Spencer whispered in my ear, his warm breath filling the canal.

  My body went into erotic shock. He kept grinding my ass, pinching my nipples through my bra, and sucking on the side of my neck. The air I took in filled my throat. He guided me around to face him, and all my vows of self-control went out the window as his lips seized mine and his tongue followed. My head spun as Spencer led me. He could have taken me anywhere, but I knew we were going to my bed, and then my back was pressed against the mattress.

  Spencer’s hooded gaze was ravenous with lust as his body abandoned mine and he stood at the side of the bed, watching me. I wanted to twist and turn with desirous need, but instead, I was held captive by the way he watched me.

  “I want you to trust me,” he said.

  I nodded and shifted to sit up.

  He put his palm gently on my chest and pressed me back down onto the bed. “Don’t get up.”

  My body felt heavy as I contemplated whether to go along with whatever was happening. Spencer continued watching me with a burning lust in his eyes.

  “I want you so bad,” he whispered. His manhood, pressing against the material of his loose-fitting sweatpants, told the same story. His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed and then grunted to clear his throat. “You want the truth?”

  I frowned. This was strange indeed. I wondered whether we were about to have sex or a conversation.

  “You read the book.”

  I propped myself up on my elbows. “Yes,” I said tentatively. “But are we really going to talk about that now?”

  “We have to, baby, because all the shit you read about me was true. It’s why I’ve been fucked up when it comes to women and relationships.

  He will eat you up and spit you out. Carol’s words haunted me. Then everything I’d read about him and Amelia Christmas came back to mind.

  “Is it because of what your mother…?”

  “She wasn’t my mother,” he retorted.

  I squeezed my eyes shut, remembering that tidbit. “Sorry. I meant Amelia.”

  “Partly.” He smashed his lips together thoughtfully. “Some of it. But I’m freed from that shit. This thing we have together is new to me. I want it to work, but I don’t know what you want. Or how you want it.”

  “Do you mean in terms of sex?”

  He nodded and shrugged gently, and I saw a vulnerability he’d never expressed before.

  A smile formed slowly on my lips. “You’ve been doing it just fine so far.”

  Spencer cracked a smirk. “That’s good to know.”

  I sat up quickly and reached out for his hand. His lascivious gaze slid from my face—stopping at my tits, his eyes narrowing slightly—then slipped down to my hips and back to my face before he took me up on my offer. He straddled me and parted my thighs to lie between my legs.

  “Shit,” he whispered, kissing and sucking on my neck, which sent shivers down to my pussy. “I shouldn’t have done this.”

  His nearness and lips and tongue on my neck made my head spin.

  “Done what?” I whispered.

  Spencer rolled onto his back and slid a condom out of his pocket. “Take these off,” he said, tugging at the band of my panties. He pointed his head at my bra. “And that.”

  I yanked my crotch-soaked panties down my legs and tossed them somewhere in the room. Then I unclipped my bra, tugged it off, and flung it too. Anticipation made me gulp—I couldn’t take my eyes off the sheer size of his engorged cock. When the condom was on, he rolled on top of me again, lying between my separated thighs, and drove his erection deep into my inner sanctum. I sighed, holding on to him tightly.

  His skin was warm, his muscles h
ard in skin supple. He kept repeating how soft I was, how wet and warm. We clung to each other like crazy. Deep wasn’t deep enough with each stroke of his dick inside my pussy. We only broke lip contact to express indulgent pleasure with sighing, moaning, or grunting.

  “I can feel you,” he kept repeating.

  “I can feel you too,” I whispered.

  The shift was rapid. Spencer rotated from on top of me, and the next thing I knew, my ass was at the edge of the bed and Spencer’s face was between my legs, arms wrapped around my thighs and his hot mouth and soft tongue stimulating my clit.

  I moaned, squirming against his face as pleasure raced through my pussy. And then the erotic sensation diminished. Breathing heavily to slow down my excitement, I opened my eyes to see what had happened. Spencer’s mouth had abandoned my mound, and he was watching me.

  “What is it?” I asked breathlessly.

  He immediately went back to pleasuring me with his mouth, the impact forcing my palms down on top of the bed. I dug my fingernails into the sheets. He had a vise grip on my lower half as the electricity of a slow-building orgasm swelled in my pussy.

  “Umm…” he moaned as if I tasted like the best thing since cherry pie.

  “Oh, Spencer,” I said airily and cried out as an orgasm swirled like a whirlwind through my pussy. Before my lower body had stopped pulsating, my legs were spread wider, Spencer’s bare chest was on mine, and my pussy was filled with his rock-solid cock. I held him tightly as he pounded the hell out of me. His thick shaft, agitating my most sensitive parts with every rapid thrust, made me feel unbelievable pleasure. I could hardly stand it as my eyes widened and I took in a hard breath, guiding my hips toward the same sensation that had ignited my pussy when Spencer went down on me.

  I kept calling out to the Almighty as what I felt got stronger and stronger. Then pleasure erupted through my mound, and Spencer cursed the air as he, too, exploded with orgasm.

  We were in bed, and I was lying against Spencer, who had his arms wrapped around me. My pussy felt perfectly comfortable as he had cleaned it gently with a warm towel and then kissed me tenderly. Fastened securely in his embrace, I thought my heart would burst from something that felt a lot like love.

  “About the book…” He drew me in closer.

  The heaviness left my eyelids. “I know. You didn’t want me to read it.”

  “That’s not why I brought it up.” He lifted my hair off my neck and kissed my skin. “I want you to listen to me carefully.”

  “Sure,” I said, ready to hear anything he had to say.

  He fell silent for moment. “The book is wrong.”

  My breath hitched. “How so?”

  “I’ve always known about Amelia. You and Mita are the only ones I’ve told this.”

  My eyebrows furrowed. “Mita?”

  “Mita Sharma, my therapist. You’ve met her twice.”

  My jaw dropped as I rotated to look him in the face. “The beautiful woman is your therapist.”

  He smiled faintly. “You’re beautiful too.” He kissed my lips and then went on to tell me more about his past.

  Amelia Christmas had told Spencer he wasn’t her son when he was thirteen years old. She’d noticed Randolph trying to make Spencer into a carbon copy of himself and decided he needed to know the truth to save his soul, so one day, she sat him down and told him everything about herself.

  But Amelia made him promise not to ever say a word to anyone. “You understand how dangerous your father is, don’t you?”

  When she said his father was dangerous, it made perfect sense to Spencer, who’d known about the prostitutes and the young girls. He wouldn’t get into the specifics with me, but he said Randolph Christmas was the kind of man who did whatever was needed to get exactly what he wanted.

  “About sex…” He gulped nervously. “I never liked it. When I did it, I couldn’t wait for it to be over. When I came, my dick couldn’t feel it because of the fucking shame.” He drew me closer. “I haven’t felt anything until you.”

  I wanted to weep with joy. I didn’t know if he could handle what I was thinking, but I said it anyway. “Then we were both virgins.”

  He chuckled. Gosh, I loved the sound. Then we fell silent again. Our one light moment didn’t mean the story was over.

  “What about the other part?” I asked. “The rough sex.”

  His grip on me loosened, but he didn’t let go. He said that part of the book was true, but he knew he wasn’t involved with his mother, even though he spent most of his life wanting her to love him as a mother should. Back then, he loved to fight and often went out in search of a brawl. The first week after he graduated from college and came home, he got into a fight in a bar in Providence. Normally, the cops would look at his license, see his name, and let him go, but the one who arrested him that time hadn’t gotten the memo. He called Amelia, and she came down to the station to get him. On the way home, she pulled the car over and taunted him, trying to get him to hit her by calling him every name in the book—“pussy,” “bastard,” “loser.” But when she called him the reject of a dead mother who was a crack whore and piece of trash, he socked her so hard that she spat blood. Amelia chuckled, showed him her bloody teeth, and repeated what she’d said. She told him to hit her again, and he did. Then she practically ripped his pants open. He was surprised at how fast he’d gotten hard. Then she did something to him that shocked the hell out of him. When he came, he still felt numb, but it was the closest he’d ever come to feeling something during sex.

  They engaged in the same sort of antics for about a week. Then Amelia didn’t want to do it anymore and went back to pretending he didn’t exist. He turned to a prostitute who his father had rejected because she’d gotten too old, and she’d agreed to oblige him with the kind of sex Amelia had gotten him used to having.

  “And that’s the whole sick and twisted story.” He chuckled nervously. “And that’s also why I have a fucking shrink.”

  The silence blared loudly, and I knew he was waiting for my response. But my tears had been rolling since the beginning of the recounting of his life story as I thought about the pain the young Spencer must have felt. I sniffed and wiped the tears from my cheeks.

  “Are you crying, baby?” He turned me around to see my face. I didn’t hide my feelings as I looked him in the eye.

  My stomach fluttered, and my heart swelled. Don’t say it, Jada. I didn’t have to. Spencer guided himself on top of me, and I spread my thighs. The tip of his manhood stretched the entrance of my pussy until his shaft pushed through my wet and willing walls. We held on tight to each other as we brought into existence what my heart felt and made love.

  We’d done it again and again and then fallen asleep. When I opened my eyes, my greatest hope had been actualized: Spencer hadn’t gone anywhere. Then I remembered that I had to get to the office, and I sat up with a gasp.

  He sat up too. “What is it?”

  I flung my legs over the side of the bed. “I have meetings today.”

  Spencer curled an arm around my waist and guided me to lie back down. He positioned himself between my legs. “Don’t worry about work.”

  “But you hired me to…” I gasped as he stuffed his erection inside me.

  “The boss says you stay right here,” he whispered, pumping his thickness in and out of my pulsing wet walls.

  As the hours passed, our sexual encounters had taken several approaches. We’d straight-out fucked, me on my knees and Spencer pounding my pussy from behind. We’d engaged in gymnastics, my legs way up here and his way over there, contorting our bodies into this position and that position.

  We were making love again, our gazes intimate this time, seeing behind the eyes. I had no doubt Spencer felt the same way about me that I did about him. The fact that it had happened so soon after we met scared the hell out of me, but I trusted him. The jury was still out about whether that was a good or a bad thing.

  After I climaxed and he did the same, Spencer wrappe
d me in his arms. The sun had fallen, and the glow from the lamp on the nightstand radiated sensually throughout the bedroom.

  I sighed gently. “What next?”

  He was silent for a long time and then said, “What are you referring to?”

  “Work. You’re my boss, and you’re paying me a hell of a lot of money.” I chuckled. “Hope and I joked about sex being part of my job duties since the salary was so high.”

  Spencer moaned. “I like the sound of that.”

  I nudged him playfully with my elbow. He snorted and kissed the back of my shoulder.

  “Seriously, Spencer, we’ve fucked ourselves into a precarious situation here.”

  “I don’t see it that way.”

  I pressed my lips together. Maybe I was overthinking it. I did that a lot, which was why I’d been a virgin for so long. “My assignment here is over in six months.”

  “I don’t want you to go in six months. You’ve done a fine job, Jada. Even if I don’t use you in the same capacity, I’d like for you to stick around, same pay—including the fucking.”

  I chuckled. “What about Carol?” I asked and instantly wanted to take it back. We hadn’t discussed her warning.

  “Who’s Carol?”

  “Carol Ludwig.”

  “I don’t know who that is. And why are you asking me about her?”

  I turned to look at him incredulously. “She works for you. She’s part of Reece Lewis’s team in accounting.”

  “Okay, but what about her?”

  “She warned me about you. Said you would fuck me and then leave me like you did her.”

  He shook his head. “I don’t remember her. I would have to see her. My problems with sex never stopped me from trying to fuck as many women as I could.” He took a deep breath. “I don’t remember this Carol Ludwig, but I’m sorry that she feels that way. I have a lot of amends to make, and the fact that I fucked one of my employees and she’s upset enough to warn you about me troubles me.”

  I swept my hand softly down the side of his face. “Gosh, where did you come from, Spencer Christmas?”